It's funny my friend Mia was saying something about us having the best and being the queens that we are - and its true and in order for us to have our freaking castle, legion of men, and servants, we need a great king to sit on that throne. A greatking that can 1) fight a war for you, 2) command respect from others for you3) give you whatever you want 4) provide a good life for you 5) protect and cherish you.
I just know that each of our own families have dysfunctionalities, but no matter what when it comes down to it, family moments should be of laughter, ease of company, and that enriching feeling that we know we are happy, and we are thankful to share our life w/ this group u know. We're at the point of our lives( and god is it hard) that choices are crucial. We all make wrong choices, but what's beautiful about life is we can move on and make more choices that lead us into our "Right" path.It dawned on me, that the day I realized I was "ready" to be married, was the day I let go of the "fear of divorce", I figured “shit half of the time it feels like I dont really know what I"m doing, but I figured if he's not the one, I can move on. and that made me not look at marriage as doom but bliss. But that's what it needs to be - BLISS. at least most of it.I think we all can relate to that coming from filipino families that frowned on divorce, but I love living in this day and age, where us women now have choices, and we are still leading and trying to break through for some more.You should be able to feel that you're falling w/ your hubby more and more each day. And you constantly discover new things about him. He should make you laugh, not cry, lift you up not down. Your husband should be helping you - remember that. It's a partnership.
Marriage is that time to ask ourselves honestly what we want. When we jump off the edge, I do believe we need a good partner on our side. It's a lot easier I realized. That's how I know I love Jim, Marilyn asked me once how did I KNOW, and my response was " I dunno, but all I know is with him,everything is easy, and half of the time during that trip of getting to know him, I didn't realize that yah I can move somewhere far w/ this guy,yes i can marry him, and the next thing I know I'm building a life with him"Nature has an easeness about things, and things just have a funny way ofjust getting to where they finally need to be, but then again we're always moving. Life takes us for the ride.
Below is an email I wanted to put on my blog so I can look at it on times of self-reflection. . .
Thank you Greggie!! I know I can't believe it its been 8 years. Hey we
> still look the same you know - we're only improving. Anyhoo, WHEN am I
> gonna see you? its cold up here though but snowboard season is coming up.
> I'm gonna learn hopefully this season. :)
>
> I had people over we ate, drank, went out to a couple of bars, pole danced a
> bit, played pool. It was fun.
>
> 3 things I'm thankful for. --->> well really I think there are 5. . .:)
>
> 1) hAVING the BESTEST friends in the world. I truly believe that one
> should surround one self w/ people that are positive, who love and support
> you and make you a better person, not to mention they want nothing but the
> Best for you. I've cherished every interaction I've had w/ the true good
> friends I"ve grown to known' and love.
>
> 2) thank God my family cared enough to teach me "to know better" & taught me
> to work hard and have high goals and to dream. Not to mention if they
> weren't strict - I would have gotten into a lot more trouble
>
> 3) finding my home in Lake Wildwood, and living the comfortable life I
> thought people only dream of w/ a loving husband that I'm in love w/ and a
> white dog that I would never consider to eat coz he's just too pretty :) --
> Isn't that what every American dreams? :) Haha I'm such a fob Yay America
> but I am thankful for the opportunities I've had in this lifetime.
> 4) "I am not my parents" Growing up w/ divorced parents since you were 2
> (so did Jim), I'm amazed I've grown out of my fear of turning into my
> parents. Don't get me wrong Jim and I consider ourselves Functional
> alcoholics (like Daddy), and we like to party. But when it gets down to
> business, I feel confident that Jim and I can handle things and work
> together. My biggest fear was divorce but the second I rid myself of that I
> was free to find the right person. really it was by accident, half of the
> time I didn't know what I was doing. You figure someone you find will take
> care of you and you take care of them. It's simple as that. Right on the
> whole "Your love for each other should exceed your need for each other"
> and yes I might have been "like Mommy" Its
> funny how the catholic family expects you to be celibate before marriage and
> become Kama Sutra Reproducing monkeys in the bedroom after marriage. Quite a transitional makeover really.
>
> 5) "Approach love and cooking w/ reckless abandon" Thankful that I'm truly
> passionate about cooking and eating. Food I love food. and there's nothing
> better than feeding your loved ones. Hehe someone has to fatten others up
> so I stay the skinniest out of the group right? JUST KIDDIN'.
>
> Yet you still love family and you deal w/ the rough times. I am fortunate
> enough to find someone who will truly work w/ my weaknesses and glorify my
> strong assets and approach life by looking past our parents faults when
> really we maybe a lot like our parents personality wise, but its how you
> work it all out.
>
> Thanks Greg for having me think about that. You know I used to write my
> high and low of the day in my journal. and I listed things that I was
> thankful for. Hey Dude u asked? and for some reason I felt like sharing.
> Sometimes people had this point of view that filipinos are braggy but really
> its just our culture - at least from our province. If you've got it flaunt
> it - I don't think pride is such a bad thing as long as their are good
> intentions behind it. It used to piss me off when people viewed me as
> braggy when really I'm just proud of who I am and the people that have
> helped me shape who I am. And it angered me when other people used to think
> that whoa she's way too nice and friendly whats wrong w/ her when really i
> just wanted to be their friend. (It's unfortunate, when you go through the
> times that you have to please others - i've had to learn to be selfish and
> really its not so bad , you know u really do go thru the times where you're
> like god! I"m giving and giving and what have I gotten) Hey Man Greg Sorry
> _ You asked and when I stop talking you know I can't stop. :) hehe but
> hopefully you're still listening. Sometimes I get in this tangent emails w/
> my best girl friends, its like I feel the sense of responsibility to like
> drop some word and thought onto my non-married friends yet. Marriage is
> bliss, its rough at times, but the key is when you get thru it. Oh wait now
> you're getting included in my "best girl friend" emails heheh j/k.
>
> Oh yeah and I've been getting up on the wake board :) I just have to learn
> my balance to stay up longer for a while. Jumping in the water this weekend
> was freaking cold but I was intoxicated enough to jump in get out and wrap a
> towel around me. I wanna see you up on one Greg this summer, I'm curious
> what the skateboarders do on water :) Trick!!
>
> Okay I sound all over the place, but really I'm trying to avoid work - gotta
> go now.
>
